September 30, 2020
Collecting Ghosts: Love Notes, Love Poems, Pictures and Wedding Vows chronicles one of the most difficult and trying times in my life. It is a journey through the emotional mine field that I was forced to walk through and come to terms with. Luckily, I was not amputated from her friendship, her kindness, her encouragement, her patience, her understanding, her peace, her forgiveness, her gentleness, her hope, and most of all, her love.
This is the most difficult piece I have ever had to write. My manhood, my character challenged by life. I had to admit I didn’t know how to love love right. I can’t make excuses for my immaturity. Those who can see can’t see if their eyes are closed. We propose plans, not aware of the blood that will be on our hands. We command, we demand the love we feel we are owed. Have we owned the responsibility for the hearts we promised not to break, for being cold? Those who are veterans in love say: if you love it, let it go. If it comes back, it’s meant to be. My love didn’t turn her back. She was willing to let me go if that meant I would be happy. I'm blessed she didn't let me go. With her, I am happy.
When people see me and my family, they say, "you have a beautiful family." I agree. I do have a beautiful family. If they only knew that I almost destroyed this beautiful family before it even got started. The poems and writings of this book is a testimony to perseverance but overall, love and forgiveness.